INCANDESCENT

                                  


     Have you ever met someone you wish you hadn’t or gone to an event where someone made you feel like you were the stranger amongst strangers and you thought to yourself “I wish I could poof myself right out of this room, into my car and away from these people?” Well, this is my venting about such an event. A friend of mine, Rick, had that happen to him and it was infuriating and disheartening to hear.

     Let me just say, first off, that I am a stickler for communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t beat around the bush or give me hints, just tell me. Tell me exactly what I should expect at an event so I don’t wind up internally burying myself, raging and/or sobbing. Be mindful of how you say things to me, intonations and such. Don’t leave out words and assume I’m going to fill it in for you because likely, I will not since that will cause me to have to assume and that will always end in flames. Be mindful of how you introduce you and your personality to me, especially if you’re…

BLUNT (you are always straight forward),

FIERY (you are always straight forward and you’re sarcastic),

SEASONED with REASON (those that are of the “wiser” age and feel they don’t have to explain anything to the “wiper-snappers” and have earned their place to say/ask/do what they want) or

POPULAR (you’re so comfortable with everyone else there that you don’t consider someone else could be uncomfortable) because these types of people can make new-comers feel awkward, picked on and called out as opposed to accepted, welcomed and drawn in.

     Mind you, not all of us are naturally hospitable people or immediately open to welcoming Newbies into our lives. My friends, my besties, help me with this ALL OF THE TIME because I am the “fiery” one I listed earlier. If you don’t know if you’re one of these “types,” please ask a friend to be honest with you and tell you if you word things in a way that can be offensive or off-putting – not necessarily that the question or statement itself is offensive or off-putting. Hope that makes sense. Please ask them to point out how you could have re-worded a question and/or comment to ensure that all parties leave wanting to come back as opposed to praying God never makes them return.

     Now we all know I hate meet and greet’s and get-to-know-you-anything’s and to hear about this just furthered my angst with going into environments where the majority of the people are strangers and I have to deal with the “who are you?” questions because how these questions are presented can sometimes pull a response out of me you weren’t expecting because I immediately felt attacked or offended or just plain made uncomfortable…and I can do this while smiling. And btw…try not to insult the person by making a joke about they’re life or the information you’ve just acquired…that is NEVER the way to go, especially if you’re trying to potentially gain a friend. First impressions are sometimes all you have. And timing is everything!! Please don’t pull in all lasers to one person, unexpectedly, and think they will just blossom and light-up under the blaring red light you’ve just thrown them beneath. Try to keep intro’s and inquiries as natural as possible.

     Yes, yes, we need people in our lives and not every part of working our ways into society will be comfortable or even pleasant BUT this can be an avoided wound, depending on the person on the receiving end of you talking, an avoided anxiety attack, and an avoided reason to be a hermit. Most of the people that I had a rough “beginning” with, we’re cool now but there are some people that EVERY TIME I’m around them, they say or do something ridiculous that further approves of my running in the opposite direction when I see them. I know most peope mean no harm by it but it can still affect me...us...you. I’m sure I could be one of those people for someone else and if so, I apologize, but I’m learning from it and remain open to growing in that area.

Sigh…

I’m just sayin’…

*Awkward Girl Now Stepping Off Of Her Soap Box…*