Ok, so one morning I was listening to Joyce and she was talking about Love, you know how to love and making a point to love your neighbor and I thought to myself, “God teach me how to love” and almost fell apart. Reason being is that I feel like I haven’t really been making a point to LOVE people. These days I find myself opposite of a loving "neighbor." I'm moreso the tantrum-ridden kid in the pic when it comes to dealing with people. The scriptural definition is:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres.
I feel like I have stopped loving people. That my “love” has become a habit, no longer fresh on a daily basis. I hope this makes sense. As well as I have closed myself off to loving new people. My definition of love looking at my actions, thoughts, motives, heart is not the definition above. Mine reads as:
Love is (sometimes) patient (depending on who you are),
Love is kind (if you haven’t hurt me).
It does not envy (unless I want what you have),
It does not boast (until I feel I finally did something better than you),
It is not proud (though my thoughts prove otherwise).
It does not dishonor others (as long as they don’t know what I really think),
It is not self-seeking (if I am getting what I want),
It is not easily angered (if you don’t make me mad),
It keeps no record of wrongs (but keeps a spreadsheet instead).
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
(this had been a HUGE battle for me).
It (sometimes) protects, (doesn’t really) Trust, ( is on the up and up on) Hope,
Always perseveres (when there is no reason to cut you off).
This was my morning reality check and I am thankful because now HOW I love can be redefined. So many people hurt those around them because their definition of love has been skewed. We tend to love through our past which includes the good, the bad and the ugly, as opposed to learning to love through the mirror of God's love for us. We love with "untils" instead of with "even if's." I want to be a woman who will love "Even If" you don't love me back. "Even if" you lie to me. "Even if" you hurt me. "Even if" you abandoned me. "Even if" you hate me. I want to love YOU the way God loves me, the way I'm supposed to love myself.
I know it will be difficult at times but its better to work toward perfection than it is to stay in mediocrity.
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