INCANDESCENT

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10:30 AM

Song Fav: I'm Not Who I Was

Posted by Candace |

This song tends to speak to me every time I hear it and I love the lyrics. One of my favs that I thought I'd share.  The lyrics to the song are below and if you click on the title, it will take you to his video.

; )



I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was


I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so


I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was


When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you


I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was


I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name


Hello


Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about


I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how


I'm not who I was




      This Holiday season I find that though I am grateful, so extremely grateful for all that God has done for me and the fantastic people in my life, the CHEER is not there. The excitement of being surrounded by lots of good food, great friends and family is all, well, a bit overshadowed for me. I feel like I’ve come to the end of this year a bit empty, exhausted even. With all that has taken place, the good, the bad and the surprising, I feel like I poured out so much only to be left a bit dehydrated in a sense.

     I know this is likely the oddest time of year to feel this way. The time when most people are more likely to focus on giving, love and cherishing moments, but I don’t look forward to the mingling, happy music and small talk this go ‘round, which is the opposite of how I usually feel. Each year I would anticipate having every form of Egg Nog I could imagine (egg nog ice cream, egg nog cookies, egg nog creamer, egg nog candy, etc.) and anxiously listen to the radio hoping to hear The Temptations version of Silent Night – my favorite Christmas song. This always made it feel like home to me and stirred up such excitement and joy in my heart. Now, the thought of wreathes, Carolers, fur and glitter mingled stockings and Christmas tree cookies all make me wanna hurl, lol. I even scoff at Rudolph…yes, the red-nosed reindeer. Oh how it frustrates me that I’m not submerged in holiday cheer, sipping my fav Nog with a dash of nutmeg out of a girly wine glass while listening to thousands of different versions of the same Christmas song! I want so badly to be sipping the cheer-juice but currently I don’t have the energy to muster up the will to even try or plaster a smile across my face to get through all of this year’s parties. At least not at the moment – not in a while.

     Maybe whatever residue that is lingering from the madness of this year will eventually be Windexed off and the cheer, the annoyingly-amazing CHEER, will return, but until then, it seems I have turned into a bit of a GRINCH this Christmas.

     Who knows when this will change. In all honesty, I sure hope it does soon because I would hate to miss out on such an amazing time all because I’ve turned into a large, hairy, green monster, lol.

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