This Holiday season I find that though I am grateful, so extremely grateful for all that God has done for me and the fantastic people in my life, the CHEER is not there. The excitement of being surrounded by lots of good food, great friends and family is all, well, a bit overshadowed for me. I feel like I’ve come to the end of this year a bit empty, exhausted even. With all that has taken place, the good, the bad and the surprising, I feel like I poured out so much only to be left a bit dehydrated in a sense.
I know this is likely the oddest time of year to feel this way. The time when most people are more likely to focus on giving, love and cherishing moments, but I don’t look forward to the mingling, happy music and small talk this go ‘round, which is the opposite of how I usually feel. Each year I would anticipate having every form of Egg Nog I could imagine (egg nog ice cream, egg nog cookies, egg nog creamer, egg nog candy, etc.) and anxiously listen to the radio hoping to hear The Temptations version of Silent Night – my favorite Christmas song. This always made it feel like home to me and stirred up such excitement and joy in my heart. Now, the thought of wreathes, Carolers, fur and glitter mingled stockings and Christmas tree cookies all make me wanna hurl, lol. I even scoff at Rudolph…yes, the red-nosed reindeer. Oh how it frustrates me that I’m not submerged in holiday cheer, sipping my fav Nog with a dash of nutmeg out of a girly wine glass while listening to thousands of different versions of the same Christmas song! I want so badly to be sipping the cheer-juice but currently I don’t have the energy to muster up the will to even try or plaster a smile across my face to get through all of this year’s parties. At least not at the moment – not in a while.
Maybe whatever residue that is lingering from the madness of this year will eventually be Windexed off and the cheer, the annoyingly-amazing CHEER, will return, but until then, it seems I have turned into a bit of a GRINCH this Christmas.
Who knows when this will change. In all honesty, I sure hope it does soon because I would hate to miss out on such an amazing time all because I’ve turned into a large, hairy, green monster, lol.
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