So I’m sitting up typing this because I can’t sleep. Why can’t I sleep? Because the term they’re "only human” is making a mockery of my emotions. What exactly is this supposed to mean or do? Did some guilty party create it in the hopes of equalizing any rampant emotions of the one who received the fault? Is it a bible verse and I just happened to skip over the part where Adam made a point to remind God he was only human and that’s why he ate the apple, pear or whatever it was? Or is it to make sure you realize and never forget that you too are just as imperfect as the one who scarred you? That you need to remember the last time you hurt someone so you won’t be as mad as if you negated doing so? When is it a bad time to make this statement? When should we pause, listen and maybe just say “You know what? That sucks.” Lets try a few, shall we?
a. “They stepped on my foot!” Oh, they’re only human.
b. “I can’t believe they threw that glass across the room!” Now, now… everyone gets angry. We’re only human.
c. “My wife says she’s been seeing another man for the last six months and wants to leave me.” Really? That’s too bad. It happens to the best of us. Well you know, she’s only human.
Did you notice any that seem like this particular statement wouldn’t be the best to quote? Granted these are the least to the greatest extremes but hopefully you catch my drift. So, what do I think about all of this? I think it goes both ways. I feel we should never forget that we are all faulty, fragile, imperfect people that make tons of mistakes and bad choices to those we love and to strangers, whether purposed or not. We need to have grace and patience when learning together and growing on this sinfully rambunctious round thing we live on called Earth.
I am fully aware of how easy it is for me to be the person that offends or scars someone’s heart and all I can do is repent to that person and if they choose to forgive me, move forward with or without the relationship. Now what I can’t do is assume that just because they realize I am made out of the same flesh they are and we are all equally flawed, that their emotions will normalize once the words “I’m sorry” are spoken.
Granted, sometimes things are very easily restored once there has been proper acknowledgement, what ever that looks like for those persons, but more often than not, depending on the severity of the issue and how deeply it’s wounded the heart, you don’t want to hear that. It only makes what you feel invalid and ridiculous. You’re hurt but you shouldn’t be because you’ve hurt people too. You’re sad but don’t be as sad because you’ve made people sad too.
Sometimes the more I think about things, the more I can’t wrap my brain around it and in that moment, if I am trying to hash it out with you (friend or assumed foe), be open and figure out why I feel a certain way or that I feel a certain emotion, or even just to have a place where it’s safe to unwrap the bandages around my heart, please, please don’t tell me that the one that hurt me, be it now or in the future, is “ONLY HUMAN.”
Five Reasons Your Candidate is an A**hole.
11 years ago
8 comments:
Hmm... I think the term is more for us to recognize faultiness and not to justify it or rationalize it... or eve pardon it. Yes, we're human and for some of us that rings more true than other. For those who aren't walking in accordance to the One who made us and gave us our purpose and being yeah... humanity sits on them like a mardi gras mask. However, that doesn't mean we're any less susceptible to our "nature" (that's another phrase to record... it's human nature). It's not an excuse, but it is a reality, but the funny thing is that even though it is a REALITY it's not our TRUTH.
The truth is we were called to greater things that the petty justifications we allot ourselves. We were called to greater character than the mediocrity and ambivalence that we settle for. We were called to go the extra mile in generosity, caring and social concsiousness - THAT is our TRUTH... so when you say "I'm only human" or "she/he is onyl human," that should be a wake-up call to pressing toward make our TRUTH our REALITY rather than a deal-breaker on self-constructed virtuosity.
Did I mention that I appreciate the Mars Attacks pic... classic!
I was thinking about that phrase a few days ago -
Reality vs. Truth.
"We were called to go the extra mile in generosity, caring and social concsiousness - THAT is our TRUTH... so when you say "I'm only human" or "she/he is onyl human," that should be a wake-up call to pressing toward make our TRUTH our REALITY rather than a deal-breaker on self-constructed virtuosity."
*sigh*
Such a great quote as well as very hard to swallow.
and yes Rod, I should have known you would appreciate the pic!!!
That's good Candace, sometimes simple phrases are used to dismiss very real problems, reducing legitimate hurts or flaws by reflecting the corruptible nature of humanity back onto ourselves. It's a red herring as you've pointed out, simply declaring a fact does not negate the other fact: that someone has done something wrong, the severity of which is handled by factors too numerous to articulate, but it has to start by meeting people where they are and legitimizing the resulting emotions, that too is only human.
"it has to start by meeting people where they are and legitimizing the resulting emotions" Amazingly put Wes! I wish more people would grab hold of that very thing. It would validate one's emotions as well as walk them forward to healing as opposed to stifling them into emotional confusion.
Great blog my friend! An amazing woman once told me that when we respond to another's hurting heart with insensitivity or callous disregard, it usually means that the "dismisser" themselves has unhealed wounds that they too have justified by burying with those inadequate excuses. It's harder to acknowledge how deep a wound really is than it is to just try moving on and pretending. Also, people usually dismiss the hurt of another when they are unequipped or choose not to truy deal with it. As Wes so eloquently put it: "One fact does not negate another." Unfortunately, especially in the Christian world it seems, we try to fix things by minimizing or erasing them. It's NOT HEALTHY. What you are crying out for is valid. You do need the room to just feel the way you feel, and be supported in letting it out, because grieving is a pathway to true healing. Real hurts can't just be stuffed down and covered up. Nothing that's covered up ever gets healed. I'll say it again, this time in plainer terms. Often we dismiss another person, to stick to the surface with them because we are grappling to stick to the surface of our own hurts/hearts. Romans 12:15 tells us to "rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn." It never said to talk them out of their feelings or find a reason why they shouldn't or don't have the "right" to feel as they do. Since God alone knows the heart, He alone is equipped to judge what emotions are "valid" and which are not.
Wow V...really good comment. I love what you said about Romans 12:15...
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